


To My Friend, Igniter of War

by The_Rogue_Mockingjay_of_Thedas



Series: Letters of Thedas [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 19:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rogue_Mockingjay_of_Thedas/pseuds/The_Rogue_Mockingjay_of_Thedas
Summary: A few years after the destruction of Kirkwall's Chantry, Hawke writes a letter to her old friend, Anders.





	To My Friend, Igniter of War

Anders,

  
I…it’s been years, and yet, I still don’t know what to say.

You used me. I know that. We both know that. You manipulated me into unknowingly helping you ignite a brewing war. Innocents died that day because of you…because of us. But every time I think back on it, I see no other way. You were right: there could be no peace, no compromise. You gave the mages a fighting chance. If not for you, the templars would have ground them down until they were nothing. By the time the mages decided to outright rebel, they would’ve been too crushed, too broken, the templars would’ve had the advantage. The templars would have slaughtered every mage in Thedas before the mages could rise up. You leveled the playing field in igniting the war before the templars could break the mages beyond repair.

I stand by every word I said that day. I know what you did, and truth be told I can find no fault in it. Were our places reversed, the only thing I _wouldn’t_ have done is lie.

But none of this changes the hurt. I trusted you, Anders. I still do, but…it’s not quite the same. I don’t think it ever will be.  
I miss you. I miss Kirkwall. I don’t miss the violence or the oppression or the prejudice, but, it was still my home. It was the home I shared with you, with Varric, Fenris, Merrill, Isabela, Aveline, even Sebastian. You were my family. Though we are scattered, though your road and mine may never cross again…you are still my family.

When I think of you, I do not remember a man who slaughtered innocents. I remember the man who tirelessly worked to give hope to the people all of Kirkwall saw as scum stuck to their shoe. I remember a man who helped my fellow Fereldans and asked nothing in return, a man who vouched for my brother to give him a chance at surviving, a man who was there for me when my world shattered again and again, a man who was brave enough to fight back against injustice when others turned a blind eye. I remember a man with a kind heart and the healer’s gift. (You always were so patient with my fumbling attempts at healing.) Thanks to you, I can save lives and give hope as you did. As you can still do.

You were never a bad person, Anders. You were never evil or monstrous or some terrible creature to be struck down. You were dealt bad hands, you made mistakes but you acted when others could not- or would not. You saved my countrymen, you saved the mages of the Gallows. Thanks to you, Lady Inquisitor Lavellan lived to become Inquisitor. If the templars had gotten to her, oh, Thedas would have been doomed for certain! Do not think the mark you’ve left on the world is one of nothing but destruction.  
I won’t lie to you: it hurts to think of you, for a myriad of reasons, but I do not regret knowing you. I regret what happened with the mages and templars though it was inevitable, but more than that I regret not being able to help you. I wish my friendship could have done more good.

It isn’t all tears, however. I remember the time we spent at the Hanged Man or at my estate playing Wicked Grace or diamondback with the rest of the ducklings, too much alcohol and money flowing from hand to hand like water, the time you tried playing the lute, the countless hours I spent with you at your clinic, learning everything I could of the art of healing. The stories you told of Warden-Commander Mahariel & friends. The time we got lost on the Wounded Coast. Good times.

I don’t regret being your friend, I never will. For what it’s worth, I haven’t stopped believing in you yet. I don’t think I ever will: I love you too much. You have my loyalty until the day I die, and maybe even afterward.

I hope to see you again someday, when Thedas isn’t busy tearing itself apart and there’s no tainted madman trying to destroy it all. I hope you will know peace before darkness takes you. Every time I mend flesh and bone I pray that wherever you are, you haven’t given up on yourself.

Let others hate you all they please, if you hadn’t ignited the rebellion, someone else would have and it wouldn’t have made a difference. They did not know you as I did. If there is anything I can do for you, send word, and I will come. Fenris can grouse about it all he likes, I’ll traverse all of Thedas for you. Write to me when you can, I worry about you.

Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. Stay safe or, safe as you can be, anyway.

Your friend until the sun grows cold,

Aisling Hawke


End file.
